My contribution to this destructive endeavour is to list some of the best sacrilegious, blasphemous or just plain unholy lyrics that have littered the annals of popular music.
In his excellent novel A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving gives his title character the following lines ‘Anyone can be sentimental about the Nativity; any fool can feel like a Christian at Christmas. But Easter is the main event; if you don’t believe in the resurrection, you’re not a believer.’ For me Easter is just an excuse to eat chocolate, but the contrarian in me would like to make it that bit harder than it already is to believe in Christ. My contribution to this destructive endeavour is to list some of the best sacrilegious, blasphemous or just plain unholy lyrics that have littered the annals of popular music. (And no, I won’t include Imagine – its shit).
Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine: Patti Smith, Gloria. A good place to start, what with it being about the cruxifxion an’ that… Slightly lacks conviction, though. Whilst the fundies might get het up, she does leave some room to allow others to believe that he might have died for them.
Man has to be his own Saviour: Echo and the Bunnymen, Silver. In a similar vein to Patti Smith.
thought St John scored on the rebound, Mac…
Don’t tell nobody but I kissed Magdalene/ Right on the mouth/ I said Mary it’s okay I’m the way: Loudon Wainwright III, I Am The Way still at the crucifixion, Wainwright helpfully points out Jesus was a man.
I don’t believe in an interventionist God: Nick Cave, Into My Arms. Good, but he is also a bit too considerate here. He doesn’t deny the existence of God, but merely states he doesn’t believe, it may be an affront to the ultra-religious but most moderates ain’t going to be shaken. Also it implies that he might believe in a non-interventionist God, perhaps a kind of laissez-faire deity.
not intervening, anywhere…
Now feed on alcohol drug and do what you’re told/ Now we’ll take your number for a name/ Soak mind control in christening water out of jail/ Fall in love, fall in love with me/ Nail a crucifix onto your soul: Manic Street Preachers, Crucifix Kiss.
Slightly incomprehensible (as is so often the way with the Manics), but it is at least clear to us that they lump the church in with the government and the CIA as malevolent agents of control.
Well they showed you a statue/ And showed you to pray/ They built you a temple and locked you away/ But they never told you the price that you pay/ For things that you might have done/ Only the good die young!: Billy Joel(!), Only the Good Die Young.
OK so not that blasphemous, but a good one to wind up the Catholics. Not just because it is a song about someone trying to get into a good convent girl’s knickers, but also because of the implications the title holds about the Catholic super-heroes like Mother Theresa and John-Paul II. (Although, it should be noted that Jesus dies at about 30)…
Billy Joel, still going strong at nearly 60
Remember there is a big/ Difference between kneeling down/ And bending over: Frank Zappa, Heavenly Bank Account.
Not so much anti-God as anti church (in the same vein as the Manics, but with a good deal more humour) and specifically the televangelists. Still most evangelicals can’t tell the difference between church and religion anyway.
bend over!
Listen to the bishop banging on the door/ The nuns are all knocked up/ And the choir boys are sore: Janie Jones and the Lash, The House of the JuJu Queen.
Yeah, I know we’re still not anti-God here, but anti church (and particularly Catholicism) but I just can’t resist bashing the bishop, (as it were).
I don’t need Jesus Christ Superstar /Don’t need no Sunday Television /You bet your life I don’t need religion: Motörhead, Don’t Need Religion. Right to the (loudly put) point.
Jesus is just a Spanish boy’s name: Frightened Rabbit, Heads Roll Off. Denying Christ. Yep that’s good blasphemy.
And finally, so as not to leave out the Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, Jews, Muslims, Rastafarians, Zoroastrians, Moonies, Weekend Pagans and Scientologists:
All religions make me wanna throw up/ All religions make me sick/ All religions make me wanna throw up/ All religions suck: Dead Kennedys, Religous Vomit
Happy Easter!
Words: Rover