“Ice T stripped her of her top and started licking her silicone boobs and making well, very suggestive movements. After a while Ice decides he’s had enough, pushes her away and raises his hands with a triumphant smile on his face. QED.”
“Ice T stripped her of her top and started licking her silicone boobs and making well, very suggestive movements. After a while Ice decides he’s had enough, pushes her away and raises his hands with a triumphant smile on his face. QED.”
Body Count – Paradiso 24/07/05
Profanity warning: This motherfucking review is about bitchfuckin’ Ice T and his gang of hoodlums and they didn’t come to Amsterdam to fuck around.
” You know sometimes I sit at home, watch T.V. and I wonder what it would be like to live someplace like, you know, the Cosby show, Ozzie and Harriet, you know, where cops come and got your cat outta the tree all your friends died of old age, But you see, I live in South Central Los Angeles and unfortunately…
SHIT AIN’T LIKE THAT! IT’S REAL FUCKED UP! “
If these lines are not getting your blood pumping then you’re probably not familiar with the Body Count phenomenon. That puts me into a particular tight spot because explaining Ice-T’s speed metal band Body Count always comes out worse than it actually is. Metal licks and rap brings back memories of Limp Bizkit and other nu-metal aberrations. Ice T and his cronies however have been doing this shit as early as 1990. And a lot better too. Their debut album (which is, I admit, the only CD I have) where Ice T shouts obscenities and powerful phrases that, let’s be honest, make no sense at all but it’s all done with so much conviction and attitude that it’s convincing somehow. To prove my point a small excerpt of their lyrical genius: “Body Count, Body Count. (YEAH MUTHA FUCKAAAAAA!)”, “don’t you hear the guns you stupid, dumb, dick suckin’, bum politicians.”, “I’m a COP KILLER, better you than me. COP KILLER, fuck police brutality!”
What can I say, it’s an acquired taste. Only Ice T can sing about icing cops (any cop, just because they’re cops), your mother (because she’s a racist and doesn’t trust white people, which is a good reason to kill anyone to me if there ever was one) or just to fuck random bitches (because it’s your ‘evil’ dick telling you to). And not only get away with singing it but also get you shouting along. Obviously this is the kinda stuff that gets parents and politically correct people very concerned, which is always a good thing. They had to take their infamous ‘Cop Killer’ song off the album. (Ironic to note that Ice T seems to be playing a police officer in some cheesy TV show). Also they got to keep their song about killing your mother on it cos that’s apparently not as bad as killing off cops? Bodycount takes bad taste and cliches from ghetto rap and metal and make into an art form. But enough of all that, let’s talk about the gig.
The Paradiso was sold out and the Main Hall stacked with people waiting anxiously for Body Counts appearance. And what appearance, the gig started off with police sirens and Ice T in a Jason ‘Friday the Thirteenth’ mask. Ice T starts by introducing the band, on rythm guitar one “Dr X”, on bass Vincent Price (not the (now deceased) actor), on drums “O.T.”, lead guitars Ernie C (the only other remaining original BC member) and of course Ice motherfucking T. The band didn’t waste time, in the 90 minutes that followed Bodycount pretty much played all of their hits, including ‘On with the Body Count’, ‘There goes the neighbourhood’ and of course ‘Cop Killer’. Throughout the set Ice T continues to characterize himself as the ultimate tough guy (or ultimate retard, what does it matter).
The pinnacle of his juvenile silliness happened during ‘Bring it to Pain’. The song was introduced by a monologue of Mr Ice T about how women don’t like none of the ‘soft booboo stuff’ and just want to be screwed. To prove his point he proceeded humping a speaker monitor until his wife, a blonde double D bimbo appeared on stage. Ice T stripped her of her top and started licking her silicone boobs and making well, very suggestive movements. After a while Ice decides he’s had enough, pushes her away and raises his hands with a triumphant smile on his face. QED.
After this, his son appears on the stage to sing Jimi Hendrix’ Hey Joe with him, not at all bothered with just seeing the aforementioned licking of his step mums’ tits by his daddy. If you haven’t noticed already, Body Count is the kind of stuff that needs to be taken not with a grain of salt, but rather with an entire cargo freighter of salt. And that’s the beauty of it, it might very well be some primal instinct but no matter how far civilisation has come along, when a moron like Ice T climbs on the stage and starts shouting “I love my KKK bitch, I love her when she sucks me though!” you just _have_ to shout along. You know it’s complete and utter sexist American bullshit but you can’t help liking it. The Hendrix cover is quite good by the way. Other highlights were OT’s drum solo and the sincere homage at their previous band members that have passed away.
But don’t take my word for it, go watch it yourself at http://www.fabchannel.com/bodycount. I didn’t wanna tell you earlier because I didn’t wanna make my review obsolete. You’ll probably be able to spot me in the audience. Although the Paradiso people are doing a great job recording this it only catches a glimpse of the real atmosphere. After all, you can’t smell the odour of blood, sweat and beer from a video now can ya. (Thanks to den chaoot for his input and corrections, and the beer of course).
Words: Wouter Van Den Heuvel