“I feel blessed to know that however pissed I was during Morrissey’s set I actually got to see most of the show bar the few strategic toilet and bar breaks during songs like Life’s a Pig-Sty, which was mind-bendingly bad and The World is Full-uh-ull-ur-ull of Crashing Bores.”
“I feel blessed to know that however pissed I was during Morrissey’s set I actually got to see most of the show bar the few strategic toilet and bar breaks during songs like Life’s a Pig-Sty, which was mind-bendingly bad and The World is Full-uh-ull-ur-ull of Crashing Bores.”
Morrissey live at the Roundhouse – London
This is a review of the now “legendary opening night”, according to his personal mailing list. It was also luckily the night when his voice didn’t crack after three opening songs therefore ending his promised week long residency and devastating his ever-loyal followers like my good and bad selves. We picked the right night I guess!
The refurbished Camden Roundhouse boasts an interior bearing more than a passing resemblance to the Death Star’s landing bay. Still, the venue is spacey and ace. We were seated in what appeared to be Morrissey’s personal guest space. Lord knows why they let us there but they did. To further complicate matters – I suppose as some kind of excited overreaction – I proceeded to get absolutely twatted, so please bear that in mind when reading this review.
In hindsight and armed now with the knowledge that he abandoned his residency mid-week I feel blessed to know that however pissed I was during Morrissey’s set I actually got to see most of the show bar the few strategic toilet and bar breaks during songs like Life’s a Pig-Sty, which was mind-bendingly bad and The World is Full-uh-ull-ur-ull of Crashing Bores.
Sadly, he may actually be turning into one. How else can you explain the preposterous fact that on the third night after his voice cracked, as he fled the stage he wheeled out the bizarre combination of Russell Brand, David (squirmy) Walliams and Jonathan Ross in his place. Why couldn’t a fat bald tour manager have done the trick? Was that some form of appeasement or an exercise in really winding up your fans? Why Why Why? I wasn’t even there and it’s wound me up no end. It has also greatly amused the acerbic wits on the Sunderland FC fan message board. I had fun reading their thread about the terrible comedic triptych. As we all know, Jonathan Ross can’t pronounce his R’s and is famously referred to as ‘Wossie’.
A SAMPLE BELOW
…”it’s a shame Jonathan Ross, David Walliams and Russell Brand didn’t try to continue the show and sing The Smiths songs themselves!”
(Here are the Sunderland fan’s suggestions for Jonathan to sing … spot the theme!)
“A Rush And A Push’
“Frankly Mr Shankly’
“Reel Around The Fountain”
“Pretty Girls Make Graves“
“Rubber Ring”
“Hairdresser on Fire”
http://www.readytogo.net/smb/index.php.
So why did they go up? Is it because like so many of us they still love Morrissey despite of his solo career? However, he made a fool of them as he does of us all. BRAVO Stephen Patrick Morrissey you’ve done it again. I’ve had it on very good authority that if you meet Morrissey and he knows you’re a fan, you’re screwed. It’s like that lovely clip of him backstage at the Royal Albert Hall gig during a meet and greet. Take one nervously twittering Morrissey fan; “thank you, thank you, you’ve changed my life!” Cue Morrissey scornfully, “I really didn’t mean too”.
Anyway, I digress. Let’s get back to the gig that did see itself to full fruition, complete with encores. And just one caveat on my behalf. I really don’t remember too much the order it all came in. In fact, I seem to have invented a song that he didn’t perform as one of the highlights of the gig for me. However, I’ve decided to leave it in and for those of you that want to compare the gig I remember with the actual set list, then I’ve put it at the bottom of the piece. As a kind of exercise in my memory recall, I haven’t actually read it before writing this.
I did definitely attend the gig though, it’s not a complete fantasy; my partner in crime on the evening has asserted in brackets any factual corrections for the less dreamlike amongst you and will be referred to throughout as The Ed.
Morrissey screened as a warm-up at the start of the night a film that had some gorgeous footage of Britt Eckland or was it Brigitte Bardot? And the New York Dolls, so no surprises there. I felt very excited waiting for him to come out on stage. Rallied by the fans now routine football chant of ‘Morrissey, Morrissey, Morrissey’ (sung to the tune of Here We Go) off we went; me hell bent on getting royally smashed and fighting the fan urge to jump over the balcony and throw myself at the foot of his pulpit.
By the way, the back-drop on the stage was a stunning black and white print of Marlon Brando (*actually Richard Burton – Reality Check Ed). It all screamed GAY ICON loudly, to be more precise, GAY KITSCH TEA-DRINKING ICON. Fabulous. Anyway, let’s talk about the songs!
How Soon Is Now?
Suddenly there he was his beautiful face flanked by fronds of wispy grey on his temples. Of course it’s great to hear the opening much-loved guitar slide sounding like a speeding razor and as ever he knew how to play to his crowd from his entrance, but lord he has aged since I saw him at what was actually a terrible gig (because of the sound) at the Ally Pally. He looks more distinguished and there’s a bit more of him to love if you get my meaning. Still he cuts a mighty fine figure and as soon as he started singing I got tingles on my spine and my hair stood to attention…as did his fans who mainly men as usual packed out the Roundhouse gazing in reverence.
First of the Gang To Die
This song works so well live. I first saw him perform it at The Royal Albert Hall gig a few years ago and it sparkles and bubbles and he clearly enjoys singing it. The fans all seemed to be enjoying it too and it all felt jubilant at this point.
Stop Me Oh A Ho Stop Me
I’ve never been a big fan of this song but it still felt especially laboured live. Still; it’s a thrill to be hearing him singing The Smiths even if it’s a bit of an S&M experience in excitement and denial when you realise it sounds shit with this band.
That’s How People Give Up
His new single; and one of two new tracks going on the Greatest Hits album. It floated over my head without passing through my ears at all. It was the first time I’ve heard it and I don’t mind too much if it’s the last. Maybe I have grown up or grown out of my school girl crush. Maybe it’s time? No, what am I saying… Blasphemous forgive me Morrissey my own personal Jesus.
The Last Of The Famous International Playboys
The Ed said that had Marr still been in the mix that this song wouldn’t have passed the quality control test let alone been a single, same with Interesting Drug. Weirdly though it’s currently at number 94 in the itunes single chart. I love this song though; it brings a smile to my face and warms the cockles.
Stretch Out And Wait
Brilliant, really brilliant and has provoked the strongest image I’ve taken away of the night: Morrissey upside down with his head between his legs, a microphone provocatively positioned, arms stretched out like Jesus (having graciously forgiven the bugger) and topped off with a big brothel-esque red spot-light beaming down onto him whilst a nubile drummer set about beating the bong out of one of those MASSIVE gongs like the semi-clad Grecian hunk in the Rank ident.
(Reality check Ed -this happened at the end of one of the big rockers rather than this lovely gentle, rarely heard song). (oofph – ed)
Life’s A Pigsty
Why did he trot or should that be trotter this one out. Oh sweet Jesus, pitiful, diabolical, terrible. He has somehow become a parody of his own self-parody.
The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get
Oh joy of joys, from Vauxhall & I. An album that I really like and I love this song. I haven’t heard him perform it many times (although Moz would say he doesn’t perform, only seals perform he’s an artist blah blah blah) I love the lyrics and its simplicity. Also it’s a truism.
(Reality Check The Ed – erm he didn’t actually perform this song at all)
Well I could have sworn he played The More You Ignore Me’ I really could. ‘I will be in the bar with my head on the bar” explains perhaps my over-imagination. I think I may have confused it with Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself also from Vauxhall and I and one of my favourites. In fact, the rest of the set really is a blur. I was seeing Morrissey in double. He sang brilliantly though and there were no traces of the sore throat. The disappointment for me with Moz shows is the current band. There’s just no one there that stands up to him, I debated this with the Ed who said Mark E Smith suffered from same problem in The Fall nowadays.
(The Ed – Von Sudenfed is different though and Mark E Smith really benefits from the sharpness of Mouse On Mars)
Could it be their egos won’t allow any real talent up on stage on them these days? The band were competent, but no edge; no, they were nothing really. I can’t listen to Morrissey singing The Smiths songs without hearing what, or rather who, is not there. It might be obvious but it’s so true. It’s just lacking, lacking, lacking. Musically the band are luke-warm, interchangeable with each other. No dynamics, nowt.
That got me reflecting really that Morrissey’s solo career really has been seriously marred by the lack of Marr. Again, it’s obvious but it’s true. Putting band members to one side, What about the terrible album Ringleader of the Tormentors where he asserts ‘Visconti is me”? When I first heard that lyric I thought he meant the incredible Italian director and writer Luccino Visconti. In fact I read an interview and he was referring to the long term Bowie producer Tony Visconti, who sounds like a type of biscuit. What did Tony Visconti do? Well, a thumpingly bad job I think; for which he deserves to be dunked repeatedly. Maybe, he just couldn’t say no to the Morrissey ego. And using Ennio Morricone for strings on the album, just so bloody obvious. ‘Should have gone for Craig Armstrong instead. Still, I really enjoyed myself, as did the group of people I went with. Vive La Hate, it’s good to have a rant about things you love.
Here’s the actual set list. I seemed to have lost out on a large chunk of the night. Ah well, pretty girls make grave mistakes x
Words: Pixie Barlow
How Soon Is Now?
First Of The Gang To Die
I Just Want To See The Boy Happy
That’s How People Grow Up
Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before
Sister I’m A Poet
Something Is Squeezing My Skull
All You Need Is Me
The National Front Disco
Death Of A Disco Dancer
Life Is A Pigsty
The Loop
Billy Budd
Mama Lay Softly On The Riverbed
The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores
I’m Throwing My Arms Around Paris
Why Don’t You Find Out For Yourself?
Stretch Out And Wait
Irish Blood, English Heart
Last Of The Famous International Playboys