Har Mar Superstar – The Handler

Insert drugs into body and fix tongue into cheek with large bolt (not provided).

Insert drugs into body and fix tongue into cheek with large bolt (not provided).


Silly name, funny looking bloke on the cover. OK, you’ve got my attention…………..



For this album you will need:


1 pair of shiny silver trousers (tight yet flared)
Big hair wig (Chaka Kahn for the ladies/ Disco Stu for the gents)
1 root vegetable (optional)
Drugs (anything from alcohol upwards)
1 tongue
1 cheek
Flashing disco floor (2m² per person)
CD player with remote control




Insert legs into trousers and head into wig. Insert root vegetable into underwear at jaunty angle (optional). Insert drugs into body and fix tongue into cheek with large bolt (not provided). Get on down, with thumb poised over “skip track” button of remote.



“The Handler” is a library of sounds and rhythms of the 70’s and 80’s. All the fat bassy squelches and sanitised keyboards are there along with the ’tishy-tishy’ rhythm tracks and even disco violins.


Opening track “Transit” immediately gets my flares a-flapping on the flashing floor. Funky bassline, sweet vocals and even a bit of comedy call and response. In fact it’s only it’s sense of humour that stops me donning my horny Jamiroquai hat.


Then we’re off to the 80’s for new single “Body Request”. Again it’s all funky and disco-dancy but in a Prince stylie. A pattern is emerging here.


Har Mar makes no secret of his love for Prince, Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson, but for large parts of this album it appears he’s been rooting through their rubbish for cast-offs. The worst offender on this count is “Sugar Pie”. He’s just walked right into Stevie Wonder’s house, turned left after the bathroom, gone through the hall, waltzed straight into the studio without knocking, and taken the tape off Stevie’s desk, and Stevie’s just sat there going “Who’s that?……. What’s going on?….Har Mar is that you again?…. I know it’s not Jay Kay cos I can always smell the buffalo offa dat damn fool hat.”


If everyone had to be 100% original, however, pop music would not be very popular, and derivative or not, there are some good tunes on the album. The first single “D.U.I.” is a great and groovy summer single and Har Mar has obviously learned some valuable lessons from his idols for tracks like “As (Seasons)”. “Save the Strip” is another top song with a definite Har Mar signature on it. Indeed it sounds to me that the more Har Mar asserts his own persona on a track the better it is.


Yet as if to balance out these high points there is a certain amount of pish staining the shiny side of this CD. The aforementioned “Sugar Pie” is a bit sickly for my taste. The dreary “O” provides little more than a couple of minutes to take more drugs and visit the toilet.


Then unfortunately there is a real sting in the tail. Closing track “Alone Again (Naturally)” is a Gilbert O’Sullivan cover. For those of you who don’t know who Gilbert O’Sullivan is, he’s sandwiched somewhere between Dean Friedman and Leo Sayer (now there’s an image I wish I hadn’t thought of). For those of you who don’t know who they are, life is good. Suffice to say, Gilbert’s Mum doesn’t even play his records anymore.


This album left me folding up my shiny silver trousers, without the need for dry-cleaning. The root vegetable will be fed to the goats (after being removed from my trousers). The drugs helped…………but not enough.





Although I personally condone the recreational use of drugs. No liability can be accepted for any damage caused by the consumption of Gilbert O’Sullivan or Gilbert O’Sullivan related products.




Words : MONO