Leave us alone. We’ll just wallow here in the rain, with our hair flopping in front of our eyes as our stripey woollen jumpers get ever heavier, absorbing all the moisture and the die in our saggy arsed jeans begins to run and tie-dye our underpants.
Palloc – A tree in our city
And now a quick word from our sponsors:
They say that you use more muscles in your face when frowning than you do when you smile. Then again, they say a lot of things don’t they? If we all walked around smiling every day then we’d look like a bunch of idiots now wouldn’t we? And so what if we frown a lot? At least our cheeks don’t hurt. So what if we feel like that truck driver in the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy that’s always depressed because everywhere he goes it’s always raining? For some of us, depression is a way of life and if you don’t like it then fuck off and smile like a gremlin for a couple of hours you ponce.
Leave us alone. We’ll just wallow here in the rain, with our hair flopping in front of our eyes as our stripey woollen jumpers get ever heavier, absorbing all the moisture and the die in our saggy arsed jeans begins to run and tie-dye our underpants. We’ll stand in defiance of all you happy fuckers because we are the shoegazing kids of Holland and we shall take over your bedrooms. We are the sound of bed-sit land. Art students and Math Geeks will embrace us. We shall congregate in small, crummy bars with sticky floors and cheap vodka promotions. We shall give respect to Echo and the Bunnymen and all things Pavement and we shall tell you all to fuck off and die and then make ourselves ill on Jagermeister.
We shall create a droning noise with our guitars and although we shall use drums we shall ensure that they never get too excited, because we couldn’t give a monkeys what you think and therefore don’t have high blood pressure. We shall sing like someone’s just died and we shall use simple melodies that plod along rather unhappily at the thought of having to do any work whatsoever. We despise everything that’s piped to us through factory speakers and crass, pointless advertisements. We are the shoegazing kids of Holland and we hate you all but you know what? You’ll fucking love us. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it Grandad.
Thanks for that. We couldn’t put it better ourselves. You’ll fucking love them. Tune in next time for more teenage angst on the Incendiary channel.
Words: Damian Leslie